The moment my eyes fell on you, I was content. My heart stood still. My tongue fell silent. 

You were dark, tall and well built... the type of guy who would make heads turn on Wisteria Lane. You were, um, beautiful.

The way you walked, talked, laughed, and oh that twinkle in your eyes, it was all enthralling... this I can scream from the top of Taipei 101, even though I don’t do heights.

The day you took me to your house was magical. It was a lovely condo. Nice red couch, matching curtains, captivating paintings hanging on the walls....a woman’s hand at work? I put my six senses to work.  No pictures of a woman in sight, not even your mother! No feminine scent. I’m a woman...I can’t miss that. Right? I had to use the bathroom. No lady’s shampoo, no facial foam, no make-up remover.

All clear, I said to myself....proud that I finally got to practice my CSI Miami skills. Only that this was not a crime scene and I’m not sure if my nippy exploration was ‘forensic’, but it was worth it. Mine was the only female presence in the house and with no hard evidence to suggest otherwise, I was the only woman in your life. I felt honoured.

You told me how ‘hot’ I was. Sexy eyes I have, you said.  That my smile resembled that of an Angel. I never bothered asking where you had seen a smiling Angel.  Maybe I should have, because now I need an Angel ASAP!

When we kissed it was fire. Your touch was irresistible. The love making was wonderful. The earth moved! (I found out later that it was an earth tremor, but who cares!). It was just you and I....the rest of the world didn’t matter.

Why then boyfriend, did you act as if you had seen a total stranger when we met at the mall? No hug.  No kiss. No touching?  This was the moment the rest of the world mattered! 

Isn’t it the same ‘hot’ slender body you can’t get enough of when it’s just the two of us? And why couldn’t you look me in the eyes? My sexy brown eyes! Did my angelic smile fail to work its magic on you this time?

Oh wait...were those your boys with you? Do they know me? Oh silly, what am I saying! Of course they should know me by now. I have been your girl for six weeks! You should have mentioned me. They do know me.............. right?

So boyfriend, I was mad when you didn’t introduce me to your boys, so cold.  When you called later that day, I hung up on you...that’s what supposed to happen right? I mean, I was mad at you...I was supposed to hang up...right?

But why didn’t you call me back? Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? I get mad, you call, I hang up, and you call back....that sort of thing. Where is the love? Oh hold it...you never said you L.O.V.E.  me! Crap!
It’s been two weeks now, still no call. I just finished reading ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’. Well boyfriend, Goodbye!

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