In the professional world successful men seem to think they are the limit. Nothing or no one comes in focus because they have made it. I know this is a generalization but it is my opinion and I am entitled to it (did I just hear a successful man grunt? Yes? My point exactly!).
It is almost a natural cause and effect situation that when you book an appointment with someone or come to some business arrangement it equates to ‘I am sorry but I will dally around for a month before I give an actual answer, when it’s a no, I will make sure I still offer my services so you don’t feel let down.’ How patronizing! What Mr. big shot man says without realizing is ‘since I lay the golden eggs then I think you should stroke my ego enough maybe I will take my own business seriously.’
Firstly, I should point out that a mutual agreement is made between two people. You, Mr. big shot, are not any better because you are holding off your end of the bargain. In fact you are getting a bad rap for inefficiency of brain power. It is so phallic that you should think the world revolves around when all you need to is put down a signature. If it is so hard to decide, as big as Malawi’s trade market it is today, I am sure other Mr. big shots are waiting for the same opportunity; as you get your nails painted by your secretaries or others of the same nature. As a matter of fact, I as a partner or agent of the same contract could also chose to play dumb and want to be chased around but what I have is a clear understanding about business and in business one is focused on results and not hurt egos because I refused to have dinner with you and said you have a lovely wife. You are such a child Mr. big shot.
It is quite annoying when one follows up
on a deal and all you get is ‘am in a meeting, I will call you back in
10 minutes’ and they never do. If you were some type of Barrack Obama I
would understand but you are just hustler like me trying to make a
living. Show some respect for fellow men and you shall be treated
accordingly. I am not a fool for wanting to work with and not for you.
You should be honored that I actually took an interest in your work.
But, again, do not be mistaken; it was not an interest in you!!
Professional business conduct stipulates that once partners have an
agreement and one party changes their mind on the agreed terms then by
all means this agreement should either be dissolved or alternative
solutions found. Let the other partners go on with other ventures
because that is the art of business. Do not sit on projects as if you
are running your own household Mr. big shot, because it is not and by
the look of those you are horrible in that department.
What you should know is, you are just a mere client, like the next guy, nothing special. Without your title you become a plain person with Freudian attention hang ups, maybe you suffer from the middle child syndrome; you never got enough attention growing up? Well, I suggest you take it up with your mother kind sir. This is a business arena, we all wear the pants and we do not offer dummies!
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Male Hegemony
afrodite on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 20:01You two do understand the act of oppression don't you. Maybe not even oppression but manipulation. These big bwana's with power are not afraid to use it. Its not about being walked all over, lets be pratical, if he does not get his way, little girl with a dream is messed up because he has connections. He will slander her to all of them. If does get his way, he will do the same...its a catch 22 for all ambitious young women. The best thing is to let this bastard go and take your business elsewhere. Do not try to preach equity and rationality because you know what, his mother did not teach him any of these terms, men like that don't change until they are charged with harrassment, which is something the blogger can do!!! That's me...its not easy to be hot headed in this country if you want your business to work.
Pepa, Afrodite. If I sounded
rachaeljere on Wed, 06/16/2010 - 14:41Pepa, Afrodite. If I sounded condescending in my remarks about suing Mr Big Shot, I apologize. I feel your frustration. While I have never had the (privilege?) of conducting business in Malawi, I have experienced men power-tripping...because they can. And Malawian men are quite bad - even those who are subordinate to you will pull the Man Card...because they can. I wonder, though, if so many of us women are experiencing the same thing, aren't there enough of us to network and by-pass these....obstructions? There are many ways to skin a cat - and if a Mr Big Shot is standing in the way, surely, surely, we can find an alternative. One of my many "progressive" ideas has been to sow the seed for an all-female chamber of commerce - no males allowed - to further the cause of women entrepreneurs without the limiting influence of men. Not out of disrespect, but in full recognition of the fact that women still count for very little in Malawi, but actually keep the country running - most of the "man-power" in rural Malawi is actually supplied by women...As for slander....let them talk. If you are right, and your dealings are forthright and honest, you have nobody to fear. You can stand up in any forum, hold your head high, and know that you have wronged no one. And then get on with your business. Easier said than done, but you have my support, if only in spirit. Stand your ground, girl. R.
it takes two to tango
acacia on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 21:49is this a rant against indirect communication in business? or indirect communication in business between women and men? i'm with rachel, if you let him walk all over you, whose fault is that?
Don't stroke his ego, sue his A**
rachaeljere on Sun, 03/14/2010 - 17:04Nanidi,Breach of contract = lawsuit. Clear and simple. You could choose to drop the case against Mr Big Shot after you have ensured enough negative press. And then strike a deal with someone else. People have to learn to play ball, or get the bat swung at their heads. Time is money. All is business, and nothing is personal.