Rejection can be defined in three different ways; firstly it is when something is not accepted or deemed not good enough, or when someone gets turned down, for example in a job application. Lastly, it is when someone is unkind to another who expects or has a right to expect love, kindness and friendship. 

In whatever way one may categorize rejection, it always has a negative impact on the person experiencing it. This is because as humans one of our primary desires in Iife is to be accepted. Rejection can have an adverse effect on one’s self esteem therefore it is important that one knows how to deal with it in a positive manner.

Below are a few tips on how to get through rejection whether it is from a failed relationship or a job:

It is common to take rejection personally because we spend a lot of time rejecting most of what life brings our way including ourselves. When we want one thing we always get the other. When we want our partners to behave in one way they do the opposite. And before we know it we begin to feel there is something wrong with everyone else we meet and that it is up to us to change and control them. However, because we have rejected them they reject us. The same concept works in a job scenario, if you did not get a job you wanted it is not because you use too many verbs, or you have pimples or that the boss once dated your sister. It could be that someone else is better fit due to experience, education or skills.

The sooner you learn that not everything is about you, the quicker you will bounce back from rejection. At times self reflection in a situation you have found yourself in helps.  In a relationship or a job you have to realize what works for you and makes you happy and works for the other. If both parties can not strike a balance then negative outcomes are bound to follow.

Coping with rejection is not about protecting yourself from further rejection; it is about building a self defense or being able to bounce back. When you build a self defense or become resilient to rejection you open the door to new opportunities and a chance for you to try again. You need to take each new instance for what it is; it should be your fresh start. When you take on this perceptive you will be able to face rejection and refuse to let your past disappointments taint your present.

When we value, like and appreciate others, the happier we will be. The experience of acceptance and oneness is what everyone desires. This is way we all should be able to give to others and also give it to ourselves. We should be able to be honest with our feelings and express them when hurt by others. If it is a failed job application, we should be able to talk about it with our loved ones. We should also try not to project our own failings upon others, but try to take responsibility where it’s due. Judgment or desire to change others is not necessary. When we accept and understand people as they are, they will we do the same for us.

The more risks you take, the more successes you will celebrate. Building resilience is about figuring out who you are and what you want out of your life and gives you the motivation not to give up. You need to preserver through your failings and bounce no matter what.